Lessons from Table Mountain

In 2016, my sister-friend Neo and I went to Cape Town for a week just because we could. No real itinerary and no plans. On one of the days Neo suggested we go to Table Mountain, ride the cable car up, have coffee at the top, take pictures and live our best lives. I was game for that. Little did I know that hike would “show me pepper” as Beverly Adaeze says in her recent TikTok about her own hike up Table Mountain.

When we got to the base of the mountain we discovered that the cable cars weren’t running because of the strong winds that day. No problem, we’re fit girls… we can hike up; after all, we regularly hike up Kgale HILL in Gaborone. How bad could it be? It was bad…. but I’ll save that story for another day. That’s not the point of this long post.

Today instead, I’m reminded of the journal entry I wrote right after that hike. I’m posting it here exactly as I wrote it, errors and all. I hope some part of it speaks to you.

The Ascent: 

There are places in my climb with God where things are moving up. It’s work and it’s challenging but we’re just starting and work is expected so I pace myself as I go. I have no idea where the top is but I’m moving.

Then the climb gets easy. It’s flat ground moving round the side of the mountain. At first I’m relieved for the break from the climb up. I catch my breath and take in parts of the scenery. But soon I’m irritated, apprehensive. Worried I’m not moving up. In fact there are places I’m moving down. Feels like I’m regressing instead of progressing. There ARE beautiful moments but I don’t fully take them in because I’m wondering, should I turn back now? Why aren’t I climbing? Where is the path UP? I’m sick of this flat ground!

Well the path keeps going and now I’m anxious. I can’t really see the path ahead of me. I can see where this particular path stops and I keep asking is there a path? When are we going to head up? I don’t see a path. Then Neo says “you can’t see it because we’re here. You’ll see it when you get there, just keep moving”. And I felt the Lord say “Listen.”

Neo is right. I have discovered that I am a control freak. I lose my mind if I feel I can’t see. I rarely let go and enjoy the path NOW, walking NOW. God doesn’t have to reveal or show me everything because I’m HERE. He’ll show me THERE when I get There and it will be my HERE at the time.

So on I go in my climb with the Lord. Now we’re going up again. It’s challenging but enjoyable. I’m still feeling strong. My legs and breathing are ok. I’m moving up

Then the climb gets steep! So steep that in places, I’m bent over double. People who were way behind me have caught up and surpassed me. I keep having to rest. I’m sniffing and cold but I know I’m way too far up to turn back. I came for the top and I plan to get there but this hurts. I look up, hoping the sight of the summit will encourage me. How much further to the top? 

When I look up, discouragement galore. I see people waaaaaay up ahead and still not close to the top. In fact I can’t see the top at all! Lord, what did I get myself into? You’re so far! I can’t do this! I want to rest! So rest. But don’t quit. I keep moving. And as I slowly and painfully make my way up, freezing cold and tired I meet up with other people resting. Other people feeling the way I do. Some had passed me earlier. Some had never crossed my path so they must have started this journey way before me. 

I realized we all need breaks but maybe in different doses and places. We encourage each other and we keep moving. Some people are coming back down. I’ve learned my lesson not to ask how far to the top. I didn’t want to know, I just want to get there. Some parts of my climb with God are challenging but likeable I feel strong. Other parts are so horrific and painful I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me. I’ve had challenges before and I didn’t act like this! I was hurting but confident! What’s wrong with me? What happened to my faith?? 

I’ve forgotten that this steepness and THAT steepness are not the same. I’m not regressing in faith, there’s nothing wrong with me. This is just hard but I’m making it. Slowly, steadily, with tons of breaks but I’m making it. And my breaks allow me to meet people, take in the beauty around me, breathe.

I eventually hear someone ask someone descending how far to the top. The answer “2 minutes” the quick retort from his companion “2 minutes? More like 10!” Two people, same climb, different experiences. But I really understood the differing answers later.

I’m near the top now I can feel it but I can’t see it. I’m so cold but not miserable. Not yet. Because I’m resigned to this climb. I don’t think I’m ENJOYING it. But I’m not upset. I’ve come too far to turn back anyway. A man I had started the climb with is headed back down. He says you’re almost there, just get over that break over there and it’s flat ground. Really? Yeah. Thank you. 

I made it. I’m at the top. Sort of. There’s a small climb left before I’m at the tippy top but it’s nothing. My legs move without me. Let’s go. My body can’t believe it. And I am FREEZING. The wind whipping at me makes it difficult to enjoy myself up here. Yes it’s beautiful yeah yeah yeah but I’m COLD! And everything is closed. The view is breathtaking but if I stand still I might die! Quick take a picture, capture it and let’s get out of here! See sometimes I think the top is where I will find beauty and rest and all the pain will be worth it. But who knows what will happen at the top? Maybe God wants you on the journey. The top is beautiful and the time will come for you to enjoy it, but sometimes the journey is the point. How many beautiful scenes did I miss on the way up because I was so focused on getting up and making all this worth it? 

The Descent:

Now it’s time to go back down. And what I learned? We might be on the same journey, but our paths differ. Some spots in our paths are the same but our pace, choices are uniquely our own. I skipped some rocks Neo stepped on and she skipped some of mine. I stepped on some of the same rocks but at a different angle, I slipped where she didn’t and vice versa.

The reason for the differing answers earlier? Coming back down is faster and more familiar. The man who said 2 minutes said it because compare to going up, coming down to this spot felt like nothing. The lady who said 10 minutes? She remembered the pain of her efforts, the brevity of her time spent at the summit, the weariness of her bones. Factually SHE was right. Psychologically, so was he.