Words

Words are a funny thing

So often they evade you, just when you have deep things to convey

My head streams with notions that curl from my toes, 

Creep into the depths of my abdomen, 

Gurgle in the tumultuous pit that is my gut, 

Burn within my bones with a blaze that the winds of the times fan into flame, 

Fumble through my limbs, 

Cascade into my head,

Trickle into my mouth, 

Roll onto my tongue… 

And… 

Stop

I cannot speak

I cannot say what is on my mind for fear that 

Not only will you not understand,

You will misunderstand

So sometimes I borrow words  

Words crafted throughout the ages

Words brewed in discontent and darkness

Words designed to create, to fashion, to make of the hearer what the speaker decides

Words borrowed because my own are to my ears: feeble, fumbling, false

Words that pierce ferociously

Words that wound instinctively

Words that bruise patiently…

I borrow words 

From you

I borrow words 

From them

And because

Words are a creative thing

Weaving a magic that spellbinds the soul

Though they be borrowed words, they become as mine 

Until even I can not tell from whom they were first released

Me or you or them

Words that tell me that my nothingness is true

That my brokenness is nothing new

That pain is my portion and defeat my right

That my life will be nothing but a wasted, damaged night

And that was the cocoon in which I blossomed into a limping butterfly

Full of words that weigh down but won’t release me to cry 

Borrowed words speaking life to many 

But tattooing death into my own soul

As they drip from my lips

Heavy as lead

Falling to my feet 

Words. Dead

But then I heard tell of one Word

Not a funny word, but THE Word

The Word made flesh

The Word who is and was 

Living and whole

Not a borrowed word but the Author of words

I heard tell of a Word that calls into the darkness

And spouts shimmers of blinding light that the emptiness fails to fill

The Word that was in the beginning

Reaching out into nothing and pouring life into dry bones

Sewing flesh and blood and bone together, 

Not meant to clothe mere mortality

Constructed to house a spirit built on the breath of a Word

Designed to fill with expression and song and joy and poetry and LIGHT

“Let there be LIGHT”

And brilliant slivers of hot light flooded my being as the Word spoke the words that once evaded me 

So that even darkness is as light

And what was once hidden is now revealed

So I began to borrow the Word

To etch Him deep in the crevices of my broken heart 

I scrubbed the Words into my skin until He leaked into my very marrow

Fused Him to the tendons of my body

Moulded Him into the cement of my joints so that I could walk with Him

Each step fortified by a word He spoke

I began to borrow the Word

The Word that was with God

The Word that WAS God

The Word before whom words that had long shaped my understanding

Crumbled like ancient ruins and stood as shadows of a life I once grasped with trembling fist

I borrowed the Word until the Word began to come alive in me

And speak new words over the ones I had borrowed before

From Darkness to Light

Pain to Patience

Despair to Hope

Filth to Purity

Shame to Honour

Lies to Truth

Bondage to Freedom

Hurt to Love

Love

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